Do you consider your frequency of orgasms acceptable? In many social circles, female orgasm is still little discussed, which can be frustrating for women who, for some reason, are unable to reach climax.
Every woman responds to different sexual stimuli, and what works for some may not work for others. However, there are some techniques that promise to facilitate orgasms for people with a vagina—whether alone or with a partner.
How to Have an Orgasm Every Time
During sex with a partner, finding the right person is essential. “You experience the best orgasm you’ve ever had with someone who understands your body and knows how to bring out the best sexually,” says sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight. “It doesn’t necessarily have to be a long-term partner. Some people instinctively know what works for a new lover, and the joy of having sex with someone new can give you the best sex ever.”
1 – Set the Mood
Annabelle recommends being in an environment where you feel comfortable. It can be the bedroom or another setting if you’re in the mood for adventure. It also helps if there are no interruptions. “Think about changing the lighting, adding some scented candles, and even chilling champagne if you’re feeling fancy,” she suggests.
Once this organization becomes routine, change it up again. “One of the biggest barriers to better orgasms is routine, so I’m in favor of varying the settings,” says the expert.
2 – Try New Positions
In addition to providing incredible orgasms, finding the position that works best for you can change your entire sex life.
With a Partner
“Research shows that men and women tend to reach climax more easily during sexual intercourse in the doggy-style position,” says Annabelle. “It’s the most popular sexual position, chosen by 42% of respondents in a Lovehoney survey. It’s a great position for women who enjoy deep penetration and stimulation of the G-spot during sex. The next most popular position was missionary, followed by cowgirl (woman on top).”
Keeping sex pleasurable with a long-term partner can be challenging as it’s easy to fall into the same routine. But innovating and trying new positions can help you have a better orgasm and increase the couple’s sexual desire, especially if your libido is low.
Alone
Masturbation is also a great way to get to know your body and discover what gets you there. You can invest in sex toys or use your hands, but don’t be afraid to try new positions.
Lying Down: “This is the most popular one,” says the expert. “It’s when you simply lie down and reach between your legs with your hands or a toy.”
Supported: “This position involves sitting up straight while resting against a stack of pillows or the side of the bed,” she suggests. “As you’re closer to the vagina, penetration becomes easier.”
Legs Open: “This is basically the lotus position from yoga. Sit with your legs open to the sides and bent so that your ankles are right in front of your genitals,” she instructs. “This creates tension in the pelvic floor muscles.”
Mirror, Mirror: “This is another sitting position. It involves being in front of a mirror so you have a great view of the action. You can experiment with different rhythms, strokes, and patterns.”
3 – Respect Your Time and Relax!
Intimacy—whether solo or with a partner—works much better when you are relaxed. So take the time to forget about daily stress and better enjoy your pleasure time.
Annabelle also points out that as you become more confident, you feel more relaxed during sex. “This confidence comes from having sexual communication with someone you’re about to have sex with—knowing your likes and dislikes and what really excites both of you. We’re all a little nervous the first time we sleep with someone new; that’s totally normal.”
Also, don’t pressure yourself to reach climax quickly. The expert reiterates that the time it takes to orgasm depends on the individual and their mood, as well as how long it’s been since you last had sex. “Orgasms tend to take longer to reach the second time you have sex, but there’s no set time.”
Similarly, Anabelle says that you can delay your orgasm for up to an hour through practices like tantric sex and end up experiencing the most “explosive” orgasm ever.
4 – Choose a Sex Toy to Help You
Using a vibrator or other sex toys can increase your chances of having a better orgasm. “With a vibrator, you can’t go wrong,” jokes the expert, who adds, “Studies have shown that 80% of women reach climax more easily with a sex toy than without. The beauty of vibrators is that they come in different shapes, sizes, and forms to meet any needs.”
