The idea of infidelity has undergone significant transformations in recent decades.
Scientific advances, social changes, greater female autonomy, the internet, and new relationship formats have sparked fresh reflections. After all, what defines a breach of agreement within a relationship?
According to the national survey Mosaico 2.0, led by psychiatrist Carmita Abdo, coordinator of the Sexuality Project (ProSex) at the Institute of Psychiatry of Hospital das Clínicas at USP in São Paulo, and published in June 2017, 40.5% of the population, on average, admit having been involved in some situation outside their relationship. Among them, 50.5% were men and 30.2% were women. In an exclusive survey by WH with readers, 65.4% said they had been cheated on.
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Infidelity
Discovering that an emotional agreement has been broken can generate intense suffering. According to Patricia Scheeren, PhD in psychology and a specialist in family and couples therapy, romantic relationships are among the most intimate bonds we form. “Everything experienced within them takes on greater proportions. When trust is broken, the pain is usually deep,” she explains.
Psychology professor Cláudio Paixão adds that it is common for the affected person to question their own responsibility in the relationship’s dynamics, even if the decision to break the agreement was individual.
In many cases, infidelity does not necessarily arise from lack of interest, but from feelings of dissatisfaction or emotional deprivation. In a study published by Patricia with 1,042 participants from Brazil’s five regions, the main reason cited was dissatisfaction with the relationship. Among men, the second most mentioned factor was the search for novelty; among women, attraction to another person — both with significantly lower incidence than the primary reason.
This dissatisfaction may be relational or individual. “There are situations in which a person seeks external validation, reassurance, or new experiences as a way to fill a personal void,” Cláudio explains.
Biological and Behavioral Aspects
Some researchers also discuss possible biological influences related to desire and bonding. From an evolutionary perspective, there are hypotheses suggesting that reproductive impulses have historically influenced human behavior. However, experts emphasize that social, cultural, and individual factors play a decisive role in choices.
The Mosaico 2.0 study also identified differences in the average expectation of sexual frequency between men and women. On average, men reported a higher desire for weekly intimate activity than women. According to Carmita Abdo, hormonal variations may influence these differences, especially in women, due to fluctuations throughout the menstrual cycle and across life stages.
Anthropologist Helen Fisher proposed the existence of three distinct neurological systems — lust, love, and attachment — which can operate independently. Still, anthropologist Mirian Goldenberg stresses that human behavior is not purely instinctive. “We are rational beings, capable of reflection and conscious decision-making,” she states.
Female Autonomy and New Dynamics
The gap between male and female rates has narrowed over the years. Greater financial and social independence among women has contributed to changes in emotional behavior and relationship patterns.
The Mosaico Brasil (2008) survey had already indicated that among young people aged 18 to 25, at least one episode of infidelity in dating relationships was common. Between the first edition and version 2.0, there was an increase in the number of women reporting intimate experiences without formal emotional involvement. Experts associate this shift with increased autonomy and delayed marriage.
The Internet as a Facilitator
If the motivations can be complex, the means have become more accessible through technology. The internet enables rapid connections between people with similar interests. Researchers highlight that technology does not create the intention, but it can act as a facilitator.
Digital platforms focused on extramarital relationships register hundreds of thousands of users in Brazil. According to representatives of these services, women often report seeking attention and validation, while men tend to prioritize physical encounters. However, many users do not consider virtual interactions to be a breach of commitment, illustrating how the concept is being reinterpreted.
At the same time, digital footprints also make discovery easier. Behavioral changes, excessive privacy around devices, and shifts in routine are pointed out by investigators as recurring signs in confirmed cases.
Monogamy in Debate
With high levels of infidelity, debate over relationship models is growing. Experts argue that the ideal of romantic love — which concentrates expectations of happiness in a single person — can lead to frustration.
New relationship formats, such as open agreements or consensual non-monogamous models, have been discussed as alternatives. The central point, according to psychologists, is that any format requires clear rules and mutual consent.
Communication as Prevention
Experts unanimously affirm that dialogue is essential. Defining boundaries, expectations, and agreements reduces conflict and increases transparency. Even in open relationships, breaking established rules may be considered infidelity.
Ongoing communication allows for adjustments over time. Still, there are no absolute guarantees. Human relationships involve both conscious and unconscious factors.
Is Rebuilding Possible?
Infidelity does not always mean the definitive end of a relationship. In a WH survey, 42.3% of readers reported having forgiven and continued with their partner.
Experts explain that rebuilding requires a new pact between the couple, a willingness to listen, recognition of relational shortcomings, and the abandonment of blame games. When emotional maturity is present, the relationship can be restructured.
Ultimately, more than a fixed definition, infidelity depends on the agreements established between the people involved. What remains a consensus is that transparency, respect, and dialogue continue to be the central pillars of any healthy relationship.
